


feelings

by sunlions



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad Mark Lee (NCT), Soft Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, i dont really know what else to tag haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:55:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23102830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunlions/pseuds/sunlions
Summary: Mark is a little tired of existing in the space surrounding him and a bright boy whose smile can rival the sun cheers him up.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 10
Kudos: 86





	feelings

**Author's Note:**

> wanted to practice my writing skills and what better way than to write out some feelings with mh :')
> 
> this is my first fic, so be gentle with her <3
> 
> song: [not alone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UX7CplWAPo)\- nct 127  
> i highly suggest listening to this while you read :]

Life catches up with the best of us, but it doesn’t mean we have to submit. 

At least, that was what Mark told himself whenever life brought him a little down. He wasn’t one to typically let those things get to him, easily internalizing and compartmentalizing negative feelings as if they never existed in the first place. He could just push all things bad aside, ignoring and never focusing on them for too long because if he gave himself the chance to feel he feared he’d never  _ stop _ feeling. It was only a matter of time until that neatly organized filing system he created within himself crumbled, leaving nothing but the wreckage behind. 

It was a Tuesday, in the middle of his biology class, his teacher droning on and on about the process of metabolism, when the first wave hit. It washed over Mark like a flood— his senses on overdrive as his stomach coiled with unease. It was sadness. The effect crippling as he felt the weight of all the sadness he had yet to properly feel. 

Mark timidly raised his hand, asking to be excused, something he hadn’t done before. The teacher, Mr. Moon, gave his student a curious look, his eyes searching Mark’s before granting him the permission he needed. His objective was to find the nurse— maybe rest until after lunch. But as he walked the empty halls, footsteps heavy, heart even heavier, he found it harder and harder to go on. 

Feelings were hard. This was why Mark avoided them like the plague, not wanting to deal with the toll it took on his body. His limbs hung weakly at his sides and in that moment, Mark wished he didn’t exist. It would be a lot easier that way. He longed for this to end up like any other time, so he could force the feelings away, but it wasn’t and his head filled with intrusive thoughts that made the walls feel as if they were closing in on him. He hated this feeling more than anything. 

The slim brunette hadn’t noticed he was crying, too preoccupied with his labored breathing as he clutched the wall for support. It wasn’t until a gentle hand came to rest on the small of his back, holding him up, that Mark regained his sense of self. 

“Are you okay?” A voice as smooth as honey asked. It was soothing and Mark found himself sinking into the touch a little more, as if that voice alone would alleviate all of his pain. 

When Mark didn’t respond, the voice spoke up again. Filling up the space surrounding Mark, as if it knew exactly what it was he needed the words gentle, almost caressing Mark with their sweetness. “Let’s get you out of here.” 

To say he was thankful would be an understatement. 

The boy with his soft hands and sweet voice guided Mark down the corridors and into the infirmary with even softer touches and sweeter words. Mark, pliant under the other’s touch, was easy to get down into a bed. The mystery boy simply sat next to the bed, smiling down at Mark with a smile that could outshine any star in the sky— probably outshine the sun without even trying and Mark found himself intoxicated by it. He wanted to drink in the sight of this boy for as long as time would allow. 

The boy, noticing the turmoil going on in Mark’s head, laid a kind hand on Mark’s cheek, wiping away at the wetness that coated his cheeks as he spoke. “Hey. You’re okay now.” 

The soft hushes fell deaf on Mark’s ears as he continued to take in the boy sitting beside him. To put it simply, Mark thought he was gorgeous. The prettiest boy he had ever seen. His skin golden, glowing in the soft rays of light filtering dimly through the window. Mark couldn’t explain how, but somehow his voice matched  _ exactly _ how he had imagined him to look. The boy’s eyes shone bright, looking fervently down at Mark, making the older feel restless under their gaze. 

“I’m… okay.” Mark spoke as if he were testing the words on his tongue for the first time. Simply repeating the boy’s words from earlier, voice rough from crying. 

“Good!” The boy chimed, expression filling with warmth as his hands came to rest at Mark’s side. 

It was astonishing really, that this boy would care so much about Mark. He was practically a stranger, yet the boy seemed as happy as he’d be for a close friend. It made a strange pang vibrate through Mark’s chest. “Thank you.” 

The sun-kissed boy only hummed in reply. Instead, he took the time to study Mark’s face and had this been another time, Mark would’ve shrank under the pretty boy’s stare, would have avoided his stare at all costs. Now, Mark’s face burned, clearly flushed, but could easily be disguised as redness from all the crying he had done. 

Mark couldn’t tell how long they sat there like that— the boy softly searching his face as Mark tried to look anywhere but at him. Finally, the boy spoke again.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked, his sweet-sounding tone so gentle, settling over Mark’s body like a blanket of warmth. 

“Mmm,” The older hummed softly, shifting away from the other. 

“You don’t have to. Just thought it’d be nice to have someone to listen.” 

“‘M just a little sad.” Mark shrugged, his reply honest. It was an invitation to the stranger, inviting him into his head, to ask questions. If he wanted to that was. 

Mark didn’t know it then, but he’d soon find that the boy had wanted in. 

“How come?” He asked, a hopeful gleam in his eye as he waited for Mark to elaborate. Mark couldn’t elaborate though. He couldn’t explain why he was sad, he technically had no reason to be sad. He just was. 

“Dunno.” 

The boy didn’t reply. His mouth hung open slightly, forming a small ‘o’ as he obviously expected more. This action made Mark nervous, suddenly second guessing this entire interaction. He couldn’t help but fear he had said something wrong, had said something that upset the pretty boy in front of him. 

This fear consumed him entirely. To the point he hadn’t noticed the stinging in his eyes or the harsh, ragged breaths coming out of him until a hand laid soothingly on his shoulder. 

Feelings were weird. 

“Hey. Hey, look at me. You’re okay Mark Lee. I’ve got you. I’m right here.” 

Hearing his own name come from a stranger sent a jolt through Mark’s system.

“H-How? How did you know my name?” He stuttered out, eyes blown wide. It was then Mark noticed the dryness in his mouth. Had his lips always been this cracked? He couldn’t tell, but he gawked as a pair of watchful eyes tracked the movement of his wet tongue slipping out to apply moisture to the cracks. 

Mark had to look away from the boy. He couldn’t stand the pair of eyes that seemed to be analyzing his every move. His question went unanswered and instead was met with a new question. “Do you know what I like to do when I’m sad?” 

When Mark returned his gaze to the voice that had spoken he found the boy was looking at him still. Honey orbs seemingly staring into his soul as Mark gave a gentle shake of his head. He didn’t know what the boy did when he was sad, couldn’t see a boy as bright as him ever being sad, but he assumed he was about to find out. 

His assumption was accurate. 

“I sing.” 

The reply was so simple, but if Mark thought the boy shined before he was absolutely radiant now. The smile on his face was nothing short of dazzling, his pearly whites looking so much more against his tanner skin. Even his hair, a simple light copper, refracted the overhead light beautifully. He looked stunning and Mark could just  _ tell  _ he sounded just as stunning.

It was impulsiveness that had the brunette’s mouth opening to ask the question, his brain-to-mouth filter broken under the stranger’s mere presence. 

“Could you sing for me?” 

There was only a second, a single breath, since Mark had asked the question, but he was overtaken by dread, scared the boy would think he’s strange for asking something like that. He was happy to find he was  _ wrong _ as another smile graced the boy’s lips. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Time slowed to a crawl in that infirmary when the younger opened his mouth. 

“ _ maeil gateun kkumeul kkwo— _ ♪“

Mark felt mesmerized, the boy’s voice alone so enthralling that every negative feeling he harboured seemingly slipped away, replaced by the warmth of the sweet voice singing to him. Not even to him, but  _ for him _ . The stranger had  _ wanted _ to sing for Mark and Mark alone. This knowledge alone was dizzying. If Mark continued on that train of thought, he knew he’d be walking a dangerous path. He couldn’t help it though as he watched the boy so in his element. It was clear he loved singing and Mark felt undeniably lucky that the boy had chosen to grace him with this gift. 

Mark wasn’t sure he believed in love at first sight, but if there were any exceptions it would be for the sun-kissed boy with kind words and gentle touches. The same boy who’s smile was breathtaking and voice even more so. The pretty stranger who had reached down into the depths of Mark’s sadness and pulled him out when Mark couldn’t even help himself. 

“♪ _ — we are never alone _ ”

Maybe Mark  _ did _ believe in love at first sight. 

“Hey you’re crying again. Are you okay?”

The pale male brought a hand up to his cheek. He was indeed crying, but when had he started crying again? He wasn’t crying due to his sadness anymore, no, the boy’s song had brought him to tears. Mark’s chest tightened with a new feeling, one that left him just as breathless but in a light, fuzzy way. 

“Yeah,” For the first time that afternoon, Mark smiled. “I’m okay now— Uh, what should I call you?” 

“Lee Donghyuck. You can call me Hyuck.” The boy— now  _ Hyuck _ — gave Mark another bright smile. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he reached for Mark’s damp cheeks, wiping them dry like he had before. “You feeling any better?”

Mark sat on this question for a moment. Then sat on it for a minute longer before he decided that he  _ did _ feel better. In fact, he felt a lot better and it could all be attributed to Donghyuck. 

“Yeah actually, I feel better now.” A wave of relief overtook Mark as he said the words and found them to actually be  _ true _ . The weights on his chest finally lifting away to something much more happier. 

No longer feeling overwhelmed by sadness, Mark could finally feel the full awkwardness of this situation. It was a mix of shyness and embarrassment that hit full force. Heat traveled up the older boy’s face almost instantly as he realized how intimate the two had been. Sure, he knew Donghyuck’s name now, but just a minute ago he was still a stranger and Mark had never been this close to another person before. It made him feel giddy, drunk on the rush of sharing himself with someone else. 

It was almost as if Donghyuck could sense the shift in Mark’s emotions— or more like he could see the faint blush that had settled on the other’s face. He let out a small coo that only had Mark’s face lighting up even brighter, steam practically billowing out of his ears.

Donghyuck smirked like riling up Mark was his favorite hobby. “You’re cute Mark Lee.” 

There it was again.  _ His name _ . Mark had almost forgotten. He’d never introduced himself to the boy, too caught up in— well everything else. “Hey! How did you know my name?” 

Hyuck’s eyes sparkled, catching in the light. He seemed as if he were in on a secret that Mark wasn’t privy to knowing.

“Why should I tell you?” Donghyuck’s tone was playful, a total one-eighty from the gentle way he had been speaking to Mark earlier. Trying to keep up with this change in dynamics gave Mark whiplash. 

A small whine escaped Mark’s lips, something he wouldn’t have allowed if he were currently in the right state of mind. The chuckle that escaped Donghyuck’s lips made it worth it and Mark found he’d probably do a lot of things he wouldn’t normally do if it meant the boy in front of him would smile like that. So Mark proceeded to pout and as he expected, Donghyuck only laughed harder. 

“I’ve just noticed you around, so I learned your name. Nothing serious— Ah! Stop pouting!” Donghyuck’s giggles had Mark producing giggles of his own as the younger boy reached out, shaking his shoulders. 

Feelings were weird. Always changing, never the same. 

Donghyuck had been a stranger, but it was clear that he’d become a constant in Mark’s life. Mark found himself smiling faintly, sitting there, joking around with Donghyuck like they had been friends for an eternity. This development brought more happiness than Mark could ever put into words— More happiness than Mark had felt in a long time. This boy was going to be a special one. 

“Thank you Hyuck.” Mark spoke softly.

The two talked for hours in the infirmary which resulted in missing the rest of their classes. Neither seemed to mind though, as they found each other’s presence much more enjoyable than any class could’ve been. In that time, Mark had learned so much about Donghyuck it was amazing. He found out Hyuck was a year younger, but naturally kind and caring as he was the eldest son. He also discovered Hyuck had been singing for as long as he could remember, humming along to tunes before he knew the words to go along with them. Mark found this to be extremely endearing and he relished in all the stories the golden beauty shared with him. 

That night as Mark laid in bed, thinking back on his day, he found himself happy for once that he’d allowed himself to feel. He smiled wide, all teeth on display as he looked down at his recently added contact. The name read  _ Fullsun _ . Hyuck had been adamant on this being his name in Mark’s phone and who was Mark to deny the sun? 

The phone in his hand rang suddenly and Mark couldn’t help the goofy grin that plastered his face. His screen lit up, displaying a photo that Hyuck had also insisted on Mark setting up for his contact.  _ Cute _ … He thought, before taking a single breath, answering the call. “Hyuck?”

“Hey!” Came the bouncy reply. 

“What’s going on?” Mark wondered aloud, curious as to why the boy would call him when they had been texting the entire night. 

“Just wanted to check in on you. Maybe hear your voice. You doing okay?”

Warmth spread throughout Mark’s chest, his heart fluttering at Donghyuck’s words. The older boy’s face was stained with a blush so intense, he was thankful the younger couldn’t see him right now. “I’m perfect now.”

Donghyuck didn’t say anything, had only hummed so sweetly, Mark was positive he was smiling. He wished he could see that smile again more than anything. “Hey Hyuck?”

“Yeah?” 

“Thank you again.” 

“I told you, I’m right  _ here _ Mark Lee.”

Mark’s heart fluttered in his chest. He couldn't help but believe every word that came out of the younger’s mouth and hearing the boy himself say he was here for Mark— here even after he’d already seen him so low. Mark knew his feelings would always be  _ safe _ with the personal sun he had found. Even if life caught up with him again, right  _ here _ was where Donghyuck would remain.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this  
> comments are appreciated <3
> 
> \- v
> 
> [au twitter](https://twitter.com/suntokkis)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/suntokkis)


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